Self love. We all need more of it. Especially when we are constantly being told to compare ourselves to other people. That gets tiring very fast. As a result our energy is drained and we find ourselves running around on empty, often searching for that missing key, usually another person or memory that will ‘unlock’ the love we have been looking for.
Unfortunately, what we often find instead is that when we go around searching, we are seeking it externally…and only receiving lack in return. This causes more pain and suffering for us in the long term.Perhaps instead of seeking externally, we should focus on the story we’ve been telling ourselves on the inside.
Love is an inside job
Therefore, it begins with tuning in to our heart and soul, so we can reconnect with that Divine Spark residing inside of us.Yet what if the negative self-talk is all consuming? After all, it’s easy to spiral downwards and think bad things about yourself. More so if these thoughts have been given validation by other people in the past.
Self-doubt and negativity is easily reinforced to us by our minds, the media and society at large…you only have to watch a TV programme or flick through a fashion magazine to start feeling insecure. That your nose is too big or you’re too short, or too fat or thin…when you pay attention to these messages, you just can’t win! And that is the entire point.
It’s all about attacking your self-worth.If we want to experience and embody self-love then we have to make it a daily habit. We have to believe we are worthy and good enough as we are right now. How can we do this? It’s a journey, but you can make a start by following these 15 steps below…
1. Look into the mirror and say ‘Life loves me’
For some, this will be the hardest thing they’ve ever had to do. Louise Hay’s mirror exercise is a powerful means of getting real with yourself and accepting yourself in the present moment – flaws and all.
You might think you look too old, too fat, too spotty…all kinds of negative thoughts will come up! But persist. Say ‘Life loves me’ 10 times while looking in a mirror, inhaling and exhaling deeply as you relax. There is so much tension around this statement because many people have been taught it is selfish to love themselves or to see the good within.
We associate so much with the body that even accepting our appearance can be difficult. Repeat this exercise every day and night for a month and start to notice how your beliefs around yourself are changing. You might like the results so much that you decide to do it permanently thereafter.
2. Go For A Massage.
We long to be touched and to know we are needed and loved.
The human connection is powerful and when we don’t or can’t receive this, then we may start to feel sad or even depressed over a longer period of time.
We need to feel peaceful in ourselves and a massage is a means of physically reaffirming that we are doing just great as we are and this is communicated emotionally via our nervous and limbic system through the power of touch.
3. If you can’t get a massage…touch yourself.
This doesn’t mean self-pleasure although if that’s your thing, go for it. When you can’t or don’t have the time to receive a massage or even a hug from another human.. then a great way to boost your self-esteem is to hug yourself tightly, stroking your arms and shoulders very gently up and down.
We are energetic beings and respond to touch, so close your eyes and visualise that a beautiful divine being is holding you close under their wings as you do this exercise.
Alternatively, find a local park and hug a tree for a few moments. Nature is a powerful healer. Breathing deeply in and out as you imagine yourself being divinely protected and cared for always.
4. Do something that makes you smile.
I recommend dancing, singing, watching comedy…anything that brings out your Spirit and gets you out of the head.
When we reconnect with Spirit we are coming into our most authentic selves – the person we really are and were born to be, before the social conditioning began. When you live from an authentic place, you are residing in a state of self-acceptance rather than self-criticism.
5. Go for a walk.
We are all part of nature and yet we hide ourselves away in artificial and segregated environments, physically cutting ourselves and our potential short in the process. Every day make it a habit to go for a walk. Even if it’s just for 10 minutes. Ideally it will be longer like half an hour, or an hour. The key here is to reconnect with nature’s healing energy and to take that back with us into the office or homes so we feel replenished.
Take time off social media as it can be very draining on the senses. The more time you spend connected, the more your energy is being diverted in various directions.
You may find yourself comparing your life with other people’s and wondering why it doesn’t measure up or why this person is so beautiful, popular and successful…just know that social media is like a lens and it doesn’t reflect the truth about a person’s life or their innermost thoughts.
Taking breaks from social media throughout the day or week, can help you to recharge your self-esteem.
7. Repeat loving and life-boosting affirmations.
Your mind may be running a juggernaut of negative emotions at you every day. Phrases like ‘I’m not good enough’, ‘I’m unlovable’ or ‘I’m ugly’ are forming deep-seated beliefs in your subconscious and this is why your life isn’t exactly how you’d like it to be.
It may be showing up for you in poor finances, rejection in relationships, flaky friendships, etc.
However, it’s manifesting – know that if it is repeatedly happening then you need to assess what you are telling yourself daily.
Learning to reprogram the mind is difficult at first, but the more you practice, the more grooves you make in the subconscious and when a limited belief is hit upon…it may bring up an emotional response.
You may feel that pain in your body,as a sense of anger or even crying. Let it go and know this is part of healing. Some powerful affirmations to boost your self-love include, ‘I am worth loving’, ‘I am deserving of love’, ‘I am loveable’, ‘I am open to being loved’, ‘My life is a blessing and I accept love today’ or most importantly, I AM LOVE.
8. Enjoy food.
Every taste sensation we have is meant to be a pleasurable and enjoyable experience.
Food is meant to nourish our insides, feeding us with the loving energy that it was instilled with from the Sun.
Eating food that provides our bodies with the nutrients it needs is highly recommended for optimal health. It does us no good to starve ourselves in the hopes of obtaining a more attractive body.
We cannot fool our body, it needs adequate fuel to survive and when we fill our engine with the right kinds of foods, we ensure that we are loving ourselves adequately.
9. Be grateful.
Every day is a unique gift in itself. Every day we get a new chance to fulfil our life’a purpose.
We do this by choosing gratitude over worry or fear. When we can come into a place of feeling grateful for the day’s adventures, we can start to live more fully and from a place of self-appreciation.
The mind is too quick to notice what went wrong with our day…but do we ever ask what went right? There is always something to be thankful for…even if it’s having fresh air to breathe or food in the cupboards.
And this mindset shift can transform us from a negative place into accepting wonderful positive things. One of the best ways to practice gratitude is to keep track of everything you’re grateful for in a journal.
10. Listen to Music That Lifts You.
Music has an energy and subconsciously we absorb a song’s lyrics, its tone and beat.
When we listen to happy songs we may want to stand up and dance, while sad songs may make us feel on a lower vibration energetically.
If we want to love ourselves more then it makes sense that we should listen to songs that reflect our self-worth and appreciation. Choose upbeat tracks that make you want to sing and shout, rather than sad songs that make you feel scared or low.
11. Dance or Sing Daily
Singing and dancing is great for making us feel good and placing us in a positive vibration.
When we are in this energetic place, it becomes easy to feel more loving and accepting of whatever comes your way.
When you feel self-conscious about expressing yourself either vocally or through the body, you become more attuned with your soul. And it’s from this place that you can live more freely and from an authentic place of self-expression.
12. Surround Yourself with Positive People.
You need to be with people who raise you up and are on your level consciously.
They don’t necessarily have to be into the same interests, but it makes it easier if you both have common goals that you can aspire to and hold each other accountable with.
When you can relate to each other in this way, you are more likely to take vital steps towards being actionable, improving yourself and therefore truly living from a place of self-love.
13. Choose an Activity You Can Shine at Daily.
What makes you glow? If you can find an activity that takes your mind off your worries and really lights you up inside, then you will know how to make your soul smile. Do this every day and you will really start to build up this loving energy and over time as you become more confident in your capabilities, you will want to share it with others too.
14. Know Your Life Purpose.
What is your reason to get up in the morning? Having a goal and knowing how to stick to it can ensure you work towards it.
Getting a little closer to your goal by keeping to a daily routine that involves either daily action or reflection, means that you are embodying more of your life’s purpose. This will naturally fill you with energy from Source and it is from this place that we can give it so easily to others.
15. Meditate On What Matters.
What is the real purpose of your existence? This ties in with the idea of knowing your life purpose, but also focusing on what helps you to grow in a spiritual direction.
Meditation can provide us with clarity and peace of mind that makes us more accepting of ourselves and the fullness of who we are…and more willing to let go of the negativity or weight that can otherwise drag us down.
Once we do this, we become lighter, experience more freedom…and can move into a place of deep acceptance and self-love at the same time. From here all else flows and happiness naturally finds its way to us, flooding our lives with the light we have been seeking from inside all along.