Valentine’s Day promises can be so sweet and endearing to hear if you’re in a relationship. Yet even if you don’t have that special someone to share the day with, you aren’t being denied love.
Valentine’s Day is simply the expression of one kind of love…and while romance is wonderful, there are so many glorious ways to express love.
Romantic love is just one form of the Universal love that is already within you. So if you’re on your own, or have someone to express this love with, it doesn’t really matter…why not take some time to celebrate the most important relationship you’ll ever have? The one with your self.
Here are 14 sweet reminders to give yourself some much needed self-love…
1. Be Gentle On Yourself
There is only one you. No one else can take your place. Feeling stressed out doesn’t serve anyone, least of all yourself. Being gentle on yourself means honouring your time and feelings, to do what feels right within the moment.
It means letting go of guilt or regret within yourself – so you can become more authentically aligned with who you really are. Being gentle on yourself means not pushing or feeling overwhelmed with information. Simply breathing into the space of each moment – perfectly comfortable in who you are.
2. Forgive Your Past Mistakes
Feeling sorry simply means you are living from a place of guilt, regret or resentment for what has been and gone. You are not your past mistakes or bad memories.
Let them go and stop identifying yourself with your pain. This is the greatest act of self-love you can give yourself on Valentine’s Day – and every day of the year.
Do not cling to your previous experiences or stories…they are simply that…experiences. When you live from ‘sorry’ you live from a negative place and are re-living it for every second you reside in this state of mind.
Choose to live in the present moment and you choose to not identify with your past mistakes anymore. You choose to give yourself peace of mind and inner peace. The greatest gift of all.
3. Take Yourself Out On A Special Date
You don’t need to wait on anyone to ask you out on a date to feel valued. Stop waiting on other people’s validation and you set yourself free. One of the best ways you can do this is to treat yourself on a day out to your favourite restaurant or cafe.
At first, if you’ve never done this before, it might seem daunting. Yet you will soon get used to and even come to like your own company once you realise there really is nothing to be afraid of. In fact, many people discover they may even prefer their own company as it gives them the space for self-reflection.
4. Surprise Someone Who Didn’t Expect It
It’s easy to get stuck in a rut with your routine and of seeing the same old familiar faces and friends. As a general rule, people don’t expect you to go out of your way to provide for them or to make them feel special. So, if you do decide to do something out of the ordinary like this, you will leave quite an impression.
You don’t have to buy expensive gifts, it could simply be brightening someone’s day by giving them a useful tool or item such as a coffee mug or a pen for example.
As long as you recognise that the gift has value in their eyes, it will touch their heart and make them feel appreciated in turn – along with making you feel good in the process.
5. Meditate on Loving Kindness
The love you are seeking in a partner, friend or role model is not external – it is a Universal force and it’s already inside you. You simply need to awaken to what is going on within and you will open the doors to that beautiful feeling of love deep within your own heart, that connects all beings.
Meditating focuses your attention within so you can explore the inner landscape and rediscover the joy that is already waiting for you there. Metta Meditation in particular, concentrates on sending loving kindness to all beings; so you are directing and sharing feelings of love and compassion to others and it is coming back to you in return.
Research has shown that cultivating the daily habit of metta can increase positive emotions in the long-term, ward off depression and even give you the resources for a more meaningful and supportive life.
6. Know Your Worth
Your Worth is not based on material or transient things. What happens if you lose your job? Or your house? Or a partner? Buddhism teaches that all attachments create suffering as in this world, they will eventually leave us.
When we acknowledge our own worth – regardless of our external circumstances, we grow the garden of our otherwise starving soul. You are inherently valuable because you are. You need to acknowledge that and once you understand nothing can add or enhance your value – you find contentment.
7. Change Your Focus To Feeling Good
It’s easy to focus on negativity or all of the things going wrong in your life. None of this does anything to actually improve your situation. The only way to attain an amazing and happy life is to be happy right now. Feeling good, naturally creates more feeling good and circumstances that promote these feelings.
Even if everything is falling apart, being grateful for what you already have is a good place to start. Studies show that being grateful can improve your relationships with others, psychological health, self-esteem,while enhancing your empathy and reducing aggression.
8. Make A ‘Focus Wheel’ About Yourself
A Focus Wheel can help you to re-focus on all of the good already within your life. Perhaps you have a feature you dislike about yourself…you can begin by refocusing on one positive aspect of it. Write it down on the wheel – moving from 12pm and writing everything down in a clockwise direction.
In the next slot on the wheel you write about a positive feature within yourself you may have never noticed. Perhaps you might start with the idea of having big thighs or short legs. You can reframe this as ‘I am grateful that my legs are supporting me’, and just by acknowledging that you even have legs – you instantly reframe your perspective in a more positive direction.
In the next slot you may write ‘My body supports me, regardless of its size.’ And in the next one along, you might write ‘I am happy that __’ and then describe how this feature is actually an attractive trait in some cultures or in certain people’s eyes.
The whole idea of this is to reframe something negative into neutral, then a positive. Simply by changing your thoughts and finding the good in every situation. This can be done to anything, from a job you dislike to a flagging relationship and everything inbetween.
9. Look At Your Real Beauty
Your beauty is actually more than skin deep. Physical beauty is just the surface that envelopes your soul. Your real beauty is the depth of your character and soul as this is truly ageless.
You can nurture the depth of your beauty by focusing on your self-interests rather than superficial things that will not serve you in the long-term. Nourish your soul – do what you love and watch how your true beauty lights you up from within.
10. Buy Yourself Flowers
You don’t have to wait around for people to express their love and admiration for you. Treat yourself – and buy yourself a bouquet of flowers, especially if you’re feeling down.
Flowers can lift your spirits and are a subconscious reminder to yourself that you are worthy of love and admiration.
By sending them to yourself, you are changing your energy to one of love and appreciation. So this is what the Universal energy sends you more of in return.
11. Charm Your Chakras
Taking good care of your energies means clearing your emotional energy centres (chakras) so you can naturally radiate on a higher frequency, free from any stagnant energy ot emotional blocks.
Energy can get blocked by refusing to deal with problems, hiding away or stuffing down the pain or rejection. Instead of clearing it, this negative energy can block you – causing you to stay stuck in deeply negative or painful thought patterns and experiences.
Reiki can help to clear emotional or stagnant energy, as can working with crystals or essential oils to get the flow of chi moving around the meridians.
Other alternative therapies that may help include EFT (tapping) to release old blocks and pain. Once you are free energetically – you are free to live and give/receive love to your highest potential!
12. Accept Yourself
Maybe you got rejected once and it deeply wounded you. You began to reside in guilt, shame and resentment. You couldn’t accept yourself as you were never told (taught) how to.
The media and society at large has kept you focusing on the external for appreciation and validation. It never teaches you that you can affirm this within yourself.
Affirmations are a good place to start as they can make you feel good, boost your self-esteem and keep you focusing on the positive. The wonderful Louise Hay always talked about affirming ‘Life loves you‘, ideally while looking in a mirror and feeling good about yourself.
Once you know that everything is happening for you, not to you – then you see the truth behind it all. How everything is about getting you back to a state of love and union with all things.
13. Plant The Seeds Of A ‘New You’
Each thought you are thinking is either a seed or a weed. You want to grow wonderful things, then you need to focus on a beautiful new vision for how you want your life to be and the way this interacts with the world.
If you want to become your best self, then you need to focus on planting positive, progressive thoughts that make you feel good and push you towards a happy and fulfilled life.
Negative thoughts can only attract more negativity, so let them go and allow yourself to start thinking in a more positive direction. Even if it’s only one good thought a day…observe how that makes you feel.
When you’re feeling good, you’ll naturally attract more of this…so allow it in. Allow the seeds…and get rid of the negative ‘weeds’ that only seek to keep you stuck.
14. Align With Love
At your core, love is who you are. And it is what you will return to. So love yourself – even when the odds are against you. Or no one says ‘I love you’. Or it goes unreturned.
Act from love. Do with love. Give with love (and without expectations). Be love. Once you start resonating with love, you will attract it to you.
All you have to do is to break down your own internal barriers of resistance that you have built up around accepting love. It’s already within – waiting for you to accept it with open arms.